Mindfuck — Warum wir uns selbst sabotieren und was wir dagegen tun koennen

Mindfuck — Warum wir uns selbst sabotieren und was wir dagegen tun koennen

  1. Mindfucking stops us from focusing on what matter. It sabotages our motivations, relationships and self-esteem. Inside us, there is an entire belief system that is different from how reality works. We get those beliefs from our parents, childhood and our ancestors. Our core values are safety and control and the gatekeeper would try everything possible to avoid change so that we keep everything as it is (maximising control)
 
  1. There are 7 types of sabotages
    1. Catastrophic Imagination — Imagining catastrophe that is not supported by any evidence
    2. Undermining yourself by putting others in front of you
    3. Pressure
    4. Judging/ Perfectionism
    5. Following rigid and outdated rules
    6. Being overly sceptical
    7. Overly optimistic
 
  1. How to stop self sabotaging? Here are a few methods.
    1. Observe and recognise without judging
    2. When you observe it, can also try to change the direction of thinking
    3. When you observe it, shout out STOP in your mind loud. Then can try to shift your focus to your body. (Bridging)
    4. When you observe it, accept it and combine it with another constructive thought
 
  1. What is the goal of change? Turn from Childhood — me/ Parent — me to Adult — me and put the focus on what is important
 
  1. Turn from Childhood — me/ Parent — me to Adult — me. Childhood — me means being in a mood of seeking help and reliance on the external. We can call it a passive state. Parent — me means being in command and control. It is a aggressive state. Adult — me state is what we should aim to achieve. In this mode, we know what we can and can’t control and focus on the controllable. We believe that we have the ability to handle the situation and learn a lesson from it even it doesn’t turn out well. Being an adult means we trust, open to new things and fully aware that we have good deeds in us. We feel safe, free and able to maintain relationships with others.
 
  1. How do make good decision regarding life? Pursue quality of life. That means we focus on what is good for us in the long run, including balancing risk and safety. We also try to optimise and balance our phyiscal, material, spiritual needs. It also includes happiness, dealing with the difficulties in life, surviving pain, believing that we have the virtue and resources to experience the brightness and darkness of life and shape the life we want
 
 
 
 

Reference

  1. Mindfuck by Peter Bock